Wednesday, May 31, 2006


Just for the hell of it, I weighed myself to see if I have gained any of those pounds back yet... and no.. as a matter of fact in a matter of a day I have lost a couple of pounds. I think something is not right... yet I don't want to go to see anyone about it...

Foolish Games

I often stop and think about why I am the way I am. I'm not one who believes in "signs" too much... but often I think about how much I am really like a pisces.

I fell in love with the most amazing man I have ever met in my life. This is a huge mistake, you see. I am so hard to be loved... I am too emotional to be in love. Does that make sense? I'm trying so hard to get over this guy... but everything about him... his personality, his awesome listening skills, his goals... his laughter.. god his laughter... it makes me smile. Whoever does wind up with him is honestly the luckiest woman in the world.

I am so torn apart, I am so in love... I am completely lost. I am so dissapointed.


I lost 9 pounds this week. It sounds like some incredibly amazing feat and number...but it freaks me out. What freaks me out is knowing I will probably gain some back this week, as my body stabalizes.

I am trying to think of what I ate, what I didn't eat.. I have a feeling I didn't eat enough...but at the same time... I'm not starving... well except yesterday I didn't eat much.

As scary as 9 pounds is I feel like I need to push myself harder to not gain a pound back next week. I would be happy to not lose or gain by next week...holy shit... "9" pounds in one week... 12 pounds in 2 weeks... This is crazy... I am going back to keeping track of what I eat...

My routine has become static.... I want to do a full 5 miles everyday... I want to go to 30 minutes on my eliptical trainer... I want to do an even 100 situps.

I am seriously obsessed.

Sunday, May 28, 2006


I guess I've been too preoccupied with my secret life to update my blog! lol. I even thought I had a livejournal account...duh. Will post some stuff soon... but leave you with the following for now:

Your Daddy Is Johnny Depp

What You Call Him: Old Man

Why You Love Him: He gives good spankings

*how lucky did I dads name is Jack..and look who I get... drooool*

James Blunt - You're Beautiful
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